I was originally going to be a massive troll and write a parody of a hobbyist-style review, but I didn’t want to take away from sharing my genuine thoughts so, sorry, you are all getting a normal write up.
I had the absolute pleasure of sharing my first-ever SP experience as a client with the lovely Malcolm Lovejoy. Along with his work as a companion, Malcolm also works in the porn industry. If you are an SP interested in seeing him, he has special rates for fellow SWs, but if you can afford to, really, just pay him his regular rate (and extra!) because he is more than worth it.
When searching for a male companion, one of the most important things for me was making sure the person was sane, respectful, and someone I felt comfortable with. There are a lot, a LOT, of idiots with zero respect for this industry and under-zero knowledge of what is required of them, and finding a provider that doesn’t fire a million signals that say “I don’t know how to behave around women and being within a 100 ft radius of me will make you crawl out your skin” is really hard. I’ll truly never get over the faux-provider with the ad that said “If you’re not satisfied with the service, your next time’s free.” (Barf!)
This isn’t going to be a hobbyist-style review (if you were expecting acronyms, I am sorry to disappoint), but I will say: Malcolm is a very handsome fella. He’s 42 (42!!) and the man does not look it at all, I honestly thought he was in his early 30s max. But as handsome as he is, I saw it as a bonus, not a requirement. One of the most important things I learned during my search is that the physical appearance of the person quickly went down my list of attributes I was on the lookout for, instead prioritizing a sense of professionalism, respect and genuineness that most people seem to be lacking. A “non-actor”, if you’ll have it. And because my intuition told me early on Malcolm would be all of these things, I chose to meet him. Naturally he turned out to be all of these things and more, which is also the exact reason he is an excellent provider, excellent human being, and someone I am very happy to have met.
The thing that immediately stuck out to me is how genuineness seems to just emit right off him. No pretending or any sense of over-acting, no creepy moves that made me uncomfortable, just a normal human comfortable enough to be his genuine self. Because of this, Malcolm naturally gives off a warm and welcoming vibe that makes you feel right at home. His incall also has a very “homey” feel to it that you don’t get to experience when meeting someone out of a barren condo and hotel room, and this was such a great touch and made me feel like I was genuinely hanging out at an old friend’s place. This is what I wanted.
As a provider myself, I will come out and say that often I struggle with feeling like I don’t “do” enough for my clients, that I need to try harder, do more, do less, a constant anxiety that always feels like I am falling short and disappointing others and wasting their time and money. Being on the other end of it and getting to experience another person just being themselves, made me notice that I never once felt like Malcolm needed to do more, say more, try harder, or be anything other than who he was at that exact moment to win me over or get me to like him. For once I got to see that the expectations and pressure I always imagined clients to have on providers were all just that: imaginary stories I told myself and not accurate to what normal, non-abusive and mentally sound clients really think and expect of their providers. This was huge insight.
On the flip token, I’ve also realized twice as hard that abusive clients that bully and intimidate providers, making them feel bad for not meeting their absurd and impossible expectations, are in actuality TWICE as bad as I originally thought them to be. To be the kind of person who cares nothing about the comfort of the person you’re with takes having a deep level of nastiness inside you that it actually makes me furious. It made me really see that every client in the past who made me feel bad and like being myself was not enough was really the one with the problem, and that there was nothing ever wrong with me.
The two hours I booked flew off the clock and not once did I feel that any second not spent getting down and dirty was a waste of my money, so here’s another finger flip to anyone out there that has ever told any SP differently. I also did not, at any point, have a mental check-list of extracurricular activities I needed to knock off my list to feel like I was getting my money’s worth. Just kicking back and enjoying my time with zero pressure on either Malcolm or myself was truly the perfect way to enjoy my time, and Malcolm home-run’d all my expectations (what little ones I had, anyway) out of the water.
If you are a companion yourself, I highly HIGHLY recommend giving this experiment a try for yourself. And if you are based in the Toronto area, I definitely recommend giving Malcolm some serious consideration! I’m starting to think it should be mandatory for every newbie in this business to hire another professional at least once, to gain insight they otherwise would not have. It might change your perspective about this business and your clients forever. I know it has me!
(Am I at risk now of becoming like my clients and getting hooked to this thing? Watch out male companions of the world, Stefania’s coming for you.)