So You Booked The Date... and if you're now wondering, what the heck am I supposed to do?! ... you are far from alone. Read this guide and you are sure to win a spot on your new friend's favourites list.
Last Updated: May 31st, 2020
Disclaimer: A lot of this information is individual to me and I do not pretend to be speaking for all providers.
Congratulations! You got through screening okay and now you have an appointment booked to see a new friend! I am so happy for you! However – don’t make the mistake of assuming that just because you passed screening you are in the clear to do and say as you please. You are not entitled to anything just by the virtue of payment. All you have been granted is a chance to prove yourself to be a true gentleman worth a provider’s time. The manner in which you carry yourself moving forward will determine whether your new friend thinks you worth winning a spot in their list of regular suitors. Please do remember each companion is different and none of the following advice is meant to be taken as universal, but rather as general guidelines to help you get started and avoid committing any common faux paus.
Allow me to let you in on a little secret most bad clients fail to realize: the quality of your time together is correlated with how comfortable your provider feels with you. Making sure your date is comfortable and feels safe in your presence is of utmost importance to earning yourself a stellar time. In between review board members complaining left and right about everything a provider did or didn’t do and the overall general level of demanding and entitled behaviour that exists in this business, most of us are conditioned to be on guard for potentially abusive behaviour. Working in an industry where we are constantly told nothing we do is ever good enough, having a client that provides a safe space for us to relax and be ourselves is the ultimate gift you can give any provider you will meet.
It is also important to be aware of the many anxieties providers face simply through the nature of this job. The sad reality is that there are a lot of jerks out there. A lot of the precautions we take to protect ourselves are not personal affronts towards you, simply general safeguards against common abusive behaviour. Even if you think yourself to be the prime example model citizen, you have to remember we do not know you and we have zero ways of knowing if you, a stranger, are genuinely harmless or secretly up to no good. Do not take offense at any of the precautionary methods mentioned in this post as none of them are personal.
First, the most important thing and this applies universally to every single kind of date: give her the payment right at the very start. It is normally in good taste to have the cash ready in an envelope, but it’s not absolutely necessary. If you’re in a public place, give it to her discreetly hidden in a card or gift bag. Most of us appreciate it very much when a client sorts the payment right at the very start without being prompted to, as it is very awkward to have to interrupt the middle of the booking to ask for payment. Spare us from this.
Get ready to talk. The greatest part of the escort experience is connecting with each other on a real human basis. The best way to achieve this, believe it or not, is through talking! Most people forget that mental stimulation is more than half the foreplay. Get to know your provider! I promise it’ll make for an even better mind-blowing experience.
Remember this is our livelihood. Negotiation of rates, bargain hunting, or complaining in any sort of way about the costs involved in escorts is one of the biggest turn-offs and tackiest things a client can do. If you wouldn’t like your boss or employer complaining about your salary and trying to short-change you, please do not do it to us. Did you overstay your time? Recognize the generosity of her time and tip her. In this industry, it’s always important to back up your words with actions. Always remember that while this is your discretionary spending, this is our livelihood.
Think about how it feels to work for an employer who tells you how amazing you are, how much they value you work, but always seems hesitant to pay you fairly and tries to short-change your pay at every opportunity possible. Do yourself a favour now and realize being penny wise, pound foolish does you a disservice and costs you much, much more in the long-term.
Always take a shower. When you visit an escort at her incall, whether it’s at the very start of the date, fifteen minutes in, or whenever she tells you to, always shower. It doesn’t matter if you just showered 5 minutes beforehand, you have to remember that your provider has no way of confirming this. To make her feel comfortable, just take the shower! Trust me!
Leave all personal belongings in the bathroom. This includes your clothes, keys, wallet, cellphone, and glasses. It makes life much easier at the end of a date too when you’re not scrambling to get all your things together.
Keep all drinks sealed until her arrival. Clients spiking drinks is a very real danger and an anxiety many providers have at the back of their heads. Help to soothe their nerves by making sure all drinks are left sealed until she arrives and are opened and poured with her watching.
Don’t ask about a menu. Once again, it’s important to remember that you’re here for an experience that involves so much more than a bunch of physical acts! The best kind of experience are always the ones that are left to their natural devices! Just let go of your expectations and go with the flow! Most of the time, in my experience, it is the clients who come in with an open mind and not a menu-checklist of demands that end up receiving the most.
Listen and respect her boundaries. If she tells you she is not comfortable with something, listen to her. Overstepping boundaries is the quickest way you can find yourself blacklisted industry-wide.
Secretly photographing and recording a session is against the law. Some companions allow for video or picture recordings, but the majority of us do not (myself included). If you are unsure, feel free to ask, but please accept and respect the answer. If you are caught secretly recording without my knowledge, I will file criminal charges against you.
If you are hosting an outcall, make sure the place is clean and allow her an opportunity to check out her surroundings. Offer her some private time in the bathroom to freshen up, it’s very much appreciated! Tip: Leave her donation in the bathroom where she can easily find it and save you both of you having to even talk about it.
If you are going out in public together, realize that different providers have different comfort levels when it comes to PDA. Don’t take this personally at all – some people are more open to it, others not so much. You’ll find out quickly enough where your friend stands.
Respect your provider’s need for privacy. Asking identifying things like what their real name is, where they go to school and similar can make many providers uncomfortable. We use aliases for safety and privacy concerns as people often can, and do, misuse this information to harm providers. It is always in a provider’s best interest to be precautionary.
Don’t talk about other providers. I do not condone gossip and want no part in it. Discretion is exceedingly important. Do not discuss other providers with me and do not discuss me with other providers. I’m getting very strict at enforcing this.
Respect the time. If you booked for a half-hour, don’t expect to stay for an hour. If you booked for 3pm, don’t show up at 3:20pm. I understand sometimes life gets in the way and things aren’t always perfect, but please always do your best to be on time and I will do the same for you. Communicate if there’ll be any unexpected delays. Things happen, we are all human. Most of us are happy to accommodate any unforeseen delays if there is communication.
Be especially careful about overstaying your time. No one likes to be a “clockwatcher”, but I know many providers, myself included, who feel taken advantage of and ripped off when a 2 hour booking turns into 3 hours. For me, it is when clients shows consideration for the initial length of the booking and doesn’t sneakily try to overstay that I feel better about them. And if you did stay overtime? Be a gentleman and tip her.
If you’re serious about repeating with a provider, consider pre-paying a deposit in advance. I’m a firm believer in that actions will always trump words, no matter how well-intentioned your words might be. I’m always very aloof when people tell me about a date they have in mind in the future, or how much they want to see me again. This is mostly because 9 out of 10 times, the same person ends up changing their mind, finding someone else to see, or just ghosting into thin air. If you want your provider to know you are serious about seeing them again so they are not skeptical of how much validity there is in your words, prepay them a deposit in advance. Do this even if you’re not ready to commit to a date off-the-bat, especially in this case. Are you unsure of how your schedule is going to pan out next week / month / year, but 100% sure you want to meet your friend again? Schedule the exact date for later, but prepay them their deposit today!
Don’t make promises you have no intentions in keeping. This. again, goes hand-in-hand with the entire actions-over-words philosophy. Talk of lavish trips, expensive gifts, and any big-game you supposedly have planned is often met with skepticism. Rather than excite, all they do is make me suspicious you are a narcissist in disguise carrot dangling big future promises for favour in the present. It’s not nice to play with people like this, and best to not talk about things unless you are ready to back it up with hard actions. Your provider will start to resent you otherwise.
Keep any and most communication outside sessions short and concise to business. Clients who demand excessive attention off-the-clock is the most common gripe I hear from other providers about their clients. I’ve had more clients than I can count over the years who will go on to flood my emails and messaging with excessive contact and drive me to the ground with the amount of energy they demand from me. I’ve been unfortunate enough to experience clients who book a single hour appointment once and think that entitles them to endless chit-chat for numerous months. You need to always be aware of how much you are giving versus how much you are taking. If you want to have a positive experience with your provider, it is so important they feel their time is respected. I kindly ask all my clients to respect my communication boundaries and keep any and all messaging as concise to business as possible.
TIP: I provide texting and emailing packages at an upcharge for clients who are looking for that little bit of extra attention outside sessions. It helps me feel fairly compensated for my time and not taken advantage of, and you get that extra attention you want.
Bad behaviour has consequences. I don’t expect writing a guide about what is considered to be good behaviour to magically change a bad client into a good one – unfortunately, life does not work that way. Instead, I am writing this as a warning to the clients out there who see providers as easy prey for them to abuse and hurt another person. In this industry, actions have consequences. This is a small community, and when you have a pattern of behaving poorly, us providers talk amongst each other and before you know it, your information ends up on our blacklists and everyone knows you as a jerk-off. If you’re a kind and respectful person by nature, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. But if you’re not, don’t act so surprised when the day comes you learn bad actions have consequences.
Now, the last and final piece of advice I have to give… allow yourself to be human. These are just some general guidelines not every provider or client is going to agree with, and the expected effect might be different from one person to the other and that is perfectly okay. At the end of it, we are all individual humans with our own unique guidelines of behaviour, and often times it takes many rounds of trial and error to figure out what “works” for us. Be patient with yourself and your providers. This is a tricky world to navigate with many ups and downs, but the rewards can be some of most enriching you’ll ever experience. You’ll find your groove, I promise!
Don’t forget: The most important thing is to relax and have fun! If you made it through screening, chances are we feel some level of comfort sharing this experience with you. This is your time to enjoy, so kick back and have a good time. I hope we are able to meet over and over again!
If you have enjoyed my writing, please consider showing your appreciation through tipping via Interac eTransfer (Canada) or Paypal (International) to StefaniaVillalobos@protonmail.com (www.paypal.me/xostefania) or purchasing one of the many gift cards on my wishlist. Lots of my time and effort is spent on maintaining these guides.