First time seeing an escort? Want to learn how to make your favourite girl like you? Read the following to avoid making a faux pas and become an escort’s favourite client.

Last Updated: October 16th, 2020

Disclaimer: A lot of this information is individual to me and I do not pretend to be speaking for all providers. 

Finding a Provider

When looking for a provider, do a bit of research on them to find out if they’re legitimate. There are a lot of fake ads, sketchy providers and scammers you need to be on the lookout for. This industry attracts a lot of bad people and it is both the client and provider’s responsibility to keep themselves safe. 

As a general rule of thumb, you want to be wary of ads that offer little information and that seem to be good to be true. Directory listings such as Leolist are littered with these. Fantastic pictures and really low price? Red flag. Don’t jump the gun. Google their contact information and figure out if they’re active anywhere else. If in doubt, do a reverse image search on their pictures and figure out if they’re really their own. The general life advice of “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” applies here.

There a lot of horror stories from clients about having gone seen a provider who turns out, at best, to be nothing like their pics or at worst, violent and/or a scammer. Majority of these things can be avoided through screening. Screening is not just for the providers, it is also for the clients. Stop and ask yourself: Why would a person feel comfortable meeting a stranger without knowing anything about them?

For your own safety as a client, you should ALWAYS be twice as wary of providers that require little to no screening. Without a doubt, I guarantee you 99% of the horror experiences clients go through are committed by providers who don’t screen (just as most horror experiences escorts go through are committed by clients we don’t screen … see the parallel?). 

Think of the following scenarios: A scam artist will not screen because their intention is to get you through the door by all means. A pimp/trafficker only cares about money, and their intentions are to get as many clients as possible. They will not screen because they have little concern for the welfare of their victims. A responsible escort, however, will always screen because they want to make sure they are meeting a real person who will not harm them.

In summary, if you want to heavily mitigate the risk of a potential scam artist, trafficking victim, or general bad person, find a provider who screens. I’ve said it a million times and will say it once more: screening benefits both clients and providers. If you choose not to follow any of this advice and take your chances with those who don’t screen, I wish you the best of luck, because you will seriously need it. Just please, whatever you do, don’t be that annoying person who chooses to only think with the small head, and then goes and complains online that he got set up by a shady provider as if there were never red flags he chose to ignore.

But Stefania, I am scared to give up my personal information! I don’t want anyone to know I’m seeing escorts! Why do I need to screen? Why can’t you just trust me?

While I am sympathetic and understanding to the hesitation you might have at screening, I’d like you to step back and see the bigger picture. While both parties have something at risk, it is without question the risk escorts carry is much, much heavier than the risk of a client. We remain the low-hanging fruit of all sorts of violent people looking to commit violence against women. Expecting a young and vulnerable woman to meet a man alone in an intimate and risky setting without knowing who he is ludicrous. The worst thing that can ever happen to a client is not even slightly comparable to the worst thing that can happen to an escort. Please help to make us feel comfortable to see you and prioritize our need for safety. (For more information on screening and why we do it, feel free to pop over to my Screening FAQ.)

When looking for a reputable provider, another very important thing to keep an eye out for is the amount of effort they put into their work. Personal websites, professional pictures, active social media accounts and well-written advertisements are normally good signs of a legitimate provider as they require an investment of time and money which most shady people looking to make a quick buck out of you aren’t going to bother with. The places they advertise in are also good representatives. Directories like Leolist provide cheap costs for posting ads, which is why a lot of scammers flock to them. Websites like Slixa are more expensive to advertise in, which serve as a filter for the quality of providers on them. Slixa is even more exclusive as they require the providers who advertise with them to screen with them first. That is to say, they ask us to prove who we are to make sure we are legitimate. Are you starting to see why screening is so important? 

I don’t want anyone to take this as me saying that anyone who advertises on Leolist is automatically bad (I advertise on there!), but I am strongly suggesting to be twice as vigilant. Google their contact information and see if they’re active on any other websites. Found a provider on Leolist who also crossposts on Tryst.link and Slixa with a professional website? You’re probably good. Found a provider on Leolist with amazing pictures at 200/hr not active anywhere else, and a 3-sentence advertisement? The red flags should be flashing nice and bright right now.

When NOT to Contact an Escort

Many clients ruin their chances with providers before it even starts because they lack the awareness of knowing when it is and is not appropriate to contact them. I hope to bridge this gap of knowledge through this section.

Generally, you want to avoid contacting an escort unless you are ready to book an actual appointment. Understand we run a business and our time and energy is just as valuable as anyone else’s. If you find a provider you like but aren’t ready to yet book an appointment, resist the temptation to send them a message just to tell them this. If you wouldn’t go out of your way to randomly call a hairdresser you have no intention on seeing just to tell them you like their work but “unfortunately, I do not need a haircut right now!”, give escorts and their business the same regard.

Many escorts will often come off as cold, business-like and/or disinterested in initial correspondence with new clients. This is not because we do not want you as clients -prior experience has shown most of us most people who contact us are not in any way serious about seeing us. Over time, one quickly learns that energy needs to be reserved for people who prove themselves to be serious from the get-go, not the person that maybe is a serious client but just happens to have poor etiquette. The burden of proof that you are a serious client is on YOU, not on the provider – if you want an escort to not pass you over and think you are serious about seeing them, show it through your actions from the very start. 

Found a provider you like but have a general question you would really like to get an answer to? Show them you are serious and not a timewaster by backing up your words with actions. I have had clients send me giftcards/money transfers and/or their full screening information along with any questions/comments they might have and this works miracles in standing out from the rest. This shows me they are serious and not just trolling escorts at random trying to get free attention with zero intentions of booking. Use actions, not words!

A common enquiry escorts receive is about travel. I understand how frustrating it must be as a client to find a provider that has grabbed your interest, only to realize they are located quite a distance from you! I can also understand the temptation there is to “innocently” ask them if they would oh-so-ever consider coming to your city, and if they could please let you know if they ever tour to your location?

This is terrible etiquette for many reasons, the biggest one being that it lacks consideration for the high costs involved in touring. Overhead costs for tours are VERY expensive when you take into account flights, accommodations and advertising costs alone. Asking providers to pay out of pocket to come to your location just to make it convenient for you to book is, quite frankly, selfish and short-sighted. If you want to see a provider located outside your home location, the best course of action is to enquire about a Fly-Me-To-You travel booking or, better yet, make a trip out of it and go visit them at their home! If, however, you live in Calgary and happen to like a provider based in Toronto but only want to see them for an hour appointment, spare the poor companion and look elsewhere for someone closer to you.

I should also not forget to note that many escorts have stories of having toured to locations clients had expressed interest in before, only for them to get there and the same clients who begged them to go there ending up ghosting or never booking an appointment. Unless you are serious and ready to back up your desires with solid, immediate actions,  leave your “maybe” bookings at home and don’t waste a provider’s time. And definitely don’t be surprised when they treat your empty “desire to book” with skepticism and coldness. Book ONLY  when you are fully prepared!

Contacting an Escort

When you are finally ready to book an appointment to see a provider, you want to make sure you are tactful in the way you approach them. Read their ad and/or website thoroughly and see what they need from clients. Escorts deal with a lot of timewasters and rude clients who test our patience on the regular, following their instructions and sending a respectful message with all the information they require will immediately put you ahead of 99% of the crowd (this number is not an exaggeration). First impressions are crucial and you only get one chance.

Most providers take the time to post basic information in their ads/websites like their schedule and rates for YOUR convenience, please READ and do not send a message asking “what are you rates?” or “are you available?” if they already have those answers listed! This is THE  #1 escort pet peeve.

Examples of common poor messages:

  • “are you available?”
  • “what are your rates?”
  • “do you do bbbjcim?”
  • “hi babe”
  • “hi”
  • “i am tall fit and handsome not like the other guys you see”

If you send any of the above, don’t be surprised if you receive a snarky reply back (guilty as charged). 

Example of an excellent introductory message:

  • “Hello Stefania, my name is _____. I found your ad listed on ______ and would be interested in meeting you! A little bit about me: I am __ years old and I work in finance. I was born and raised in Vancouver but currently live in Toronto. I enjoyed reading your website and noticed you’d be working downtown on January 18th, would it be possible to meet at 5pm for 2 hours? For your records, my cell number is xxx-xxx-xxx and my screening information is _________ . If you need any more information, please do not hesitate to ask. I look forward to your reply!”

(Feel free to steal that template for yourself – but if you’re specifically trying to book me, please use my booking form!)

Let me just reiterate why this is so important. We get hundreds of messages from people who don’t respect our rules or don’t bother to take the 5 minutes required to read our ads/websites. Dealing with endless dead-end enquiries, answering the same questions with information that is already listed somewhere else and just dealing with the abundance of timewasters out there who have zero intentions of booking our services will eventually wear down even the most patient person on this planet. I am sure I speak for most if not all providers when I say, someone who extends the smallest amount of effort to at least follow our rules and basic booking requirements is like an oasis in an otherwise chaotic storm. Be that guy.

Be respectful of an escort’s screening requirements. Screening methods is one of the most discussed topics in this business, and a huge source of headaches for both clients and providers it warrants a post of its own. For now, all I will say is, respect an escort’s screening methods. This is a very individual thing and up to the provider to determine what they are comfortable with. Some people are comfortable with just a phone number, others need more personal information. It is NOT up to you to decide what is and is not acceptable for a provider to ask for. If a provider asks for something you are not comfortable giving, do not message them trying to negotiate, or at worst, argue with them about it. It is very rude. Move on and find someone else.

Be clear with the booking details in your message. This is just a small pet peeve of mine I know other providers share, but it is always best to be clear with the details of a booking from the get-go. “4 hour date at 6pm on February 10th” is much better  than “a few hours in the evening sometime next week.” Believe me, it is easier (and quicker!) to accommodate a booking when none of the details are left ambiguous. 

Keep all communication concise. Endless-texting is the biggest issue I’ve heard of providers having with their clients. Most, if not all, providers find it exhausting when clients think they are entitled to excessive free emotional labour off-the-clock. Please be aware of how much you are giving versus how much you are taking. Way too many clients over the years have gone on to waste my time by sending me nonsensical daily emails that clutter my inbox and run me to the ground with the amount of energy they expect from me, the worst when the client rarely, if ever, books actual appointments. I’ve had clients in the past who have only booked one single hour appointment and gone on to spam my email for months and never again book another session. Please be considerate of our time and energy. Respect them just as would any other business professional. If you wouldn’t endlessly message your lawyer/therapist/hairdresser nonsensically in between business meetings, do not do the same to us.

If you really would like the extra-extra attention outside appointments, I do offer texting and emailing packages for purchase. Other providers I know offer similar, or heck, sometimes just sending a nice little gift card to show you appreciate their time is enough. It doesn’t hurt to ask if you’re unsure on your provider’s communication boundaries!

Escort-client relationships are two-way streets. There is, unfortunately, a portion clientele who seek out escorts not for the intimacy and companionship, but for a sick power high off dominating another individual. They seem to treat their money as the leverage to keep escorts in line, expecting all providers to do and say as they please in pursue of their mighty dollar. The implication is always the same: If you do what I want, I will be your client. To these people I have this to say: Get the hell over yourself. These relationships are not one-sided power dynamics where the provider is at the mercy of the client. We are not circus animals on display, acting out tricks while desperately seeking your approval. The decision to allow you to become a regular client is a mutual one and not one left to the client’s mercy. Carrot dangling promises of “becoming a regular” or “if you’re the right person, we can do all these fun and exciting things!” only show me you are an insecure narcissist looking to dominate and not here for a two-sided relationship. I have zero tolerance for abuse and disrespect, and if I get even the slightest gist you’re here to play sick power games, I will immediately end the relationship and blacklist you far and wide as a warning to all my colleagues. I’m not naive enough to expect bad clients to magically become decent human beings through reading this, but I am giving warning that if you’re the type of person who seems to find themselves incapable of behaving properly and respecting the providers you seek to hire, to at least be smart enough and realize certain actions have consequences, and don’t be so surprised when the day comes everyone knows what a jerk-off you are.

Be respectful of an escort’s time. Most escorts require at least a few hours notice, others 24+ hours, again take a look at what kind of notice they ask for. This is very individual. Nothing says to me “I don’t have any consideration for you” more than a message that asks to meet me on my off-day, or a client who seems to think I have no life outside my job and am available 24 hours around the clock. This means that if I post I’m hosting incalls on Thursday, don’t ask me for a half-hour Wednesday incall appointment. If I post I’m working 8am to 10pm, don’t message me drunk at 3am. The only exception to this is if you understand that convenience has a cost. Only in town one day and really want to convince your favourite provider to see you outside her scheduled hours? You better be willing to make it worth their while. 

Unless they state they are okay with it, please don’t message an escort at 12:41pm looking for a 1pm appointment. It takes time to screen and get ready for an appointment, and time needs to be set aside for you. Most of us are not sitting around, dressed ready to go, phone in our hands waiting for you to call us. We have other jobs, clients, school, families, chores, and other life responsibilities we are not able to stop at the drop of a hat. Me, personally? Chances are I’m in sweatpants with no make-up on when you send me that “are you available?” text. Plan ahead.

On the same token, if you book an appointment, respect the time. If you need to cancel, for the love of all that is Holy, do not text your provider 10 minutes beforehand, or at worst, ghost them. The time you book is time reserved for you that could have gone to another client. Cancelling with zero regard costs providers precious time and money and is often enough reason for an escort to blacklist you. Different people have different rules on cancellation policies, make sure to ask.

Deposits

This is a very big debate topic in this industry, especially in regards to independent companions. Many companions – myself included – insist on collecting some sort of deposit before finalizing a booking. Why is that so?

Once again, I can only speak for myself here, but I mostly do it for the peace of mind. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that many people in this industry do not respect our time and last minute cancellations / no-call no-shows are very common. Companions often set time aside for their bookings way in advance, and cancellations by clients who were never in any way serious about seeing us can hurt our business quite badly. When this happens enough times, most of us start to get anxious with new bookings, thinking: Is this client actually serious about their booking? 

There also exist the clients who talk a lot about “future bookings.” Maybe you are serious – maybe you are telling the truth when you say you’re not sure of your schedule yet, or that you just need to get the time off work, and you really do want to take us on that trip or buy us that one gift we’ve always wanted. But to us, we might be skeptical over whether you are serious or just stringing us along for your own entertainment. You have to forgive us for this – once again, there do exist many mean-spirited people who get off on wasting provider’s time and we often learn to be on the defensive for this kind of behaviour.

Deposits, once again, help here. If you have every intention of booking a future appointment with a companion but really are still unsure of a date, help your provider feel at ease with you by sending them a deposit towards the future booking. When you do something like this for us, we are able to rest easy knowing that you are definitely serious about seeing us and aren’t one of those jerks taking us for a ride. Believe me, this is just good for you as it is for us because when we feel comfortable around you, we can be our ultimate authentic selves and provide you with an even better experience free of any anxieties and apprehensions.

Yes, believe me, I understand there is an anxiety of your deposit being stolen. I am very remorsefully sorry to admit that these kind of incidents do happen in our industry with dishonest and morally bankrupt providers.  Many clients, understandably, can be apprehensive about sending deposits because of this. Regardless, I urge you to not paint us all the same. Do your research as well as you can – how reputable is this provider you want to see? How much of a deposit are they asking for? Do they seem like they have a lot to lose if they got outed for being scammers? How professionally do they handle their business? Always remember that for most of us, stealing a deposit is just not worth the cost of our entire income revenue. All I can really do is implore you to never send deposits out blindly just because someone asks for them, and do as much research on the provider as you can to see if you can judge them as being fairly low-risk of a scam. Remember: this industry is never without risks, and the best any of us can do as clients and providers is minimize the risks involved as much as possible.

Ultimately, I will leave it at this: If you are in any way uncomfortable sending a deposit a provider asks for, resist the temptation to argue with them about it as they likely made this decision for a myriad of personal reasons. I hesitated on asking for deposits for over two years because I knew I would isolate clients hesitant to send them, but eventually the scale tipped for me in that the anxiety the uncertainty without deposits was causing me was more than the money I was afraid of losing. Thus, I accepted that losing potential business from hesitant clients was worth the peace of mind deposits would give me. Many providers, I am sure, also feel similarly. If you are finding yourself to be too uncomfortable with the risk that a deposit entails, be respectful and understanding of the reasons providers ask for them, and just move on to someone who fits your personal level of comforts.

Getting Ready for an Appointment

Believe it or not, there is a lot of etiquette involved in meeting an escort, and it is very common for a first-timer to make easily avoidable rookie mistakes. The best course of action to thoroughly prepare yourself for your upcoming date is by researching basic escort etiquette. This tip alone will guarantee you earn yourself a spot in your new friend’s favourite client list! Heed all I am saying and I guarantee they will be gushing about you to all their friends for a long time to come.

If you have enjoyed my writing, please consider showing your appreciation through tipping via Interac eTransfer (Canada) or Paypal (International) to StefaniaVillalobos@protonmail.com (www.paypal.me/xostefania) or purchasing one of the many gift cards on my wishlist. Lots of my time and effort is spent on maintaining these guides.

Providers: If you would like to share this guide on your own website, please credit appropriately by linking directly back to this page and send me an email to let me know.

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This Post Has 34 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. I’ll be sure to share it.

    1. Thank you. This is exactly what I was looking for. Back in the 80s and early 90s, most all escorts were from agencies. Today most all are independent…a big change…for the best. I’ll follow this advice to the max and hope for the best.

  2. Great article!
    Thanks

  3. Absolutely love this!!! Well written and informative!

  4. This was great…VERY much appreciate the guidance!

  5. After reading and tweaking your template I was able to book my first appointment! Resources on how to frame your first message are hard to find and I found this helped a lot.

    Thank you Stefania!

    1. xostefania

      Yay! This is fantastic to hear. I am glad I was able to help you book your first appointment! Hope it’s an amazing time for you!

  6. Thank you for writing this article! It was great, I will be sharing it.

  7. Fantastic article. Sharing now.

  8. In her typically clear style, Stefania reminds us that providers deserve our respect. This isn’t just for her purposes, it’s helpful to men, too. If a provider feels secure and comfortable with one of us, she will be relaxed and prepared to share a mutually enjoyable experience. We should remember this.

  9. Thank you for writing this. Since private Delights does pre-screening, Ibeing a newb, I thought that was the preference in the industry no I’ve been making that mistake. I love providers with mailing lists and I’ve been making the mistake of asking others that don’t have mailing list to let me know when they come to my city. Because of your post I will stop doing that. Understanding the etiquette makes me feel more confident in a positive experience. It’s greatly appreciated.

  10. An excellent guide to us potential clients. Well written and easily understood. Stephanie has gone the extra mile to help us out . What a classy and caring young lady . Much love and respect xxx Carl xxx

  11. This is such an excellent resource, shared to my site! Thank you Stefania!❤

  12. I HAVE BEEN A ADMIRER ON P4 AND STRICTLY STAYED IN THAT VENUE SINCE 2011.i HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE ON TWITTER. I JUST COPIED THIS FOR MY PERSON USE AND WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME MUCH MORE AWARE OF YOUR COMMENTS,. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS TOGETHER

  13. Hi, I have question if you dont mind me asking.

    How far in advance is too far to book with an escort. I know I’m gonna be travelling there 2.5 months and I got my schedule. What’s the best way to contact this person. Should I wait or message him now.

  14. Wow! I mean Wow! You have written an amazing guide that demonstrates the intricacies of escorts and their profession. I especially enjoyed statement of how mutual respect is not only needed, but required. I also liked the statement “how much do they have to lose”. The more information and social media appearances they have makes me feel much more comfortable about sending a deposit. I was adamant about not sending a deposit because I have fallen into the Trap of thinking with my little head, as you so quaintly put it. I have been taken advantage of more than I care to admit by sending deposits. I am unfortunately in a wheelchair and this makes me very vulnerable to the miscreants of the escort world. I’m not saying this and make anyone feel sorry for me, but I’m just stating a fact . I met with Courtney Powers a couple of weeks ago and it was the first time I was comfortable leaving a deposit. She is a wonderful, very talented and above all sweet and kind lady. I realize now that I have wasted her time by sending her text after text. I have fallen in to the trap. I will see her again the next time she comes to London though. Well enough of my inane rambling, I don’t want to waste everyone else’s time. One last thing you are an amazing lady to have taking the time an effort to write this super informative guide.

  15. Hi Stephania. Is it normal for provider to ask full money upfront to “confirm booking”?

    1. xostefania

      It’s not common, but it’s not unheard of either. Most girls I know only want a portion as a deposit, not the full amount. Thread carefully I guess. Do your due diligence on determining how risky it seems with this person. If you dont feel comfortable, just don’t do it.

  16. Hello, thank you very much for all of the help and advice. Will an independent provider typically tell you if they dont want me make an appointment with you? I mean for the first initial appointment. There’s one I want to see and had some messages back and forth but a time was only set time and day and not a location and the provider ended up saying they couldn’t make the appointment 15 minutes prior to it. I understand that no problem, but kinda get the feeling of a run around on making an appointment. Provider texted next day apologizing and said im free tonight or this week. I messaged about that night or the possibility of weekday appointment. I’ll get a response at the end of the night saying sorry I’m busy tonight. I’ll be free tomorrow for sure. I didn’t give an answer on the possibility of week day appointments. I havent had any luck reaching them on the phone. I mean the answer on making an appointment is unclear and get told about I’ll be free this week and you request an appointment but then don’t hear back on it. So I just get curious about if they dont want to meet.

    Thank you again for the help

    1. xostefania

      I’d probably move on to someone easier to book honestly, it sounds like this provider doesn’t really prioritize your booking maybe? Or might just be bad communication. I don’t have much patience to be chasing after people though, so that’s just me. I can’t answer what is in this person’s head. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

  17. Hi Stefania, so I have had so much trouble in the past with fake ads asking for all money upfront or having me register on another website or just being too scared to meet because I’m scared that it’s a police sting (I’ve never gotten an escort because some escorts in my city have been in a sting and I’m scared to go to jail but I want the companionship) so would it be stupid or too much of me to ask that the escort just send a quick video saying “Hi Jacob, yes I am real”? I just don’t want my first time to be something like I get assaulted or I go to jail and I realize that I could be asking too much.

    1. xostefania

      No. I would never entertain someone that asked me to send them a video or pics for verification, and neither would any reputable escort. You sound like you’re looking for extremely cheap escorts, searching on very shady websites and/or resistant to screening. Read this guide again, especially the part about how to find a reputable escort. If you go against my advice, you’ll keep running into shady scenarios and be more likely to be caught in a sting.

  18. I posted this on my website! This is extremely helpful for newbies and sets standards and expectations!

  19. Hi, thanks for writing this! This is kind of similar to a question someone else asked but I’d like to make it a little bit more specific. Just to be clear, I have read through what you have written here as well as the screening FAQ. I’m not really worried about scammers, muggers, catfish, or serial killers, but I am concerned about cops. That is a risk I am willing to take, but they are the worst case scenario for me personally and worth avoiding. You’ve mentioned checking activity of the provider in other locations, reverse image searching, etc, but I’m concerned that the police have enough resources and motivation to set up a fairly solid honeypot. Are there things to look for in the profile that would be farther than cops tend to be willing to go? Also, would you recommend clients that contact you to not mention anything sexual at all until actually meeting in person and getting started? The reason I ask the above is because if I’m giving someone my personal information, I’m not sure what is enough to say to the provider about the booking in general without giving enough evidence to make an arrest if the provider happened to be a cop instead. I understand that you may not really be able to answer those questions and they’ll probably vary by country, but are there any measures you’ve noticed your clients take to protect themselves when initially reaching out to you and setting plans, along with any measures some of them take when they actually meet you in person for the first time? Also, if clients are close to where you are, have you ever met with them in a neutral location ahead of time for screening purposes or is that generally just too much extra effort to be viable?

    Again, these questions are all specifically regarding protection from the police, not from other malicious people. Sorry for the long list of questions, and again thanks for taking the time to write this!

    1. xostefania

      Your paranoia is ridiculous. You’re not that important my dude, no cop is going to put that much effort to go after you. Anyone who tries to suggest something as stupid as meting in a neutral location or “measures to protect themselves” that intrude on my safety, tries to bypass my clearly-listed instructions and/or holds their screening information hostage will be silently blocked at best and/or told he’s an idiot at worst. Follow the rules as each girl clearly outlines, or stay home and jerk off. I heard your left hand’s free!

      1. I apologize if I caused any offense! Your screening rules are set the way they are to keep you safe, not the client. That’s fair, I wouldn’t ask you to change them. After all, your safety SHOULD be your first concern. I’m asking what additional things a client can do to protect themselves while still following your rules without negatively impacting or impeding you. As you wish to protect yourself, I wish to protect myself as well and was wondering what other suggestions you had. If there really is nothing else I can reasonably do to protect myself then that’s that.

        By honeypot, I mean sting operations targeted at rounding up as many Johns as possible, which has happened and does happen. I wasn’t suggesting that they posted an add to target me personally. Please keep in mind, this doesn’t stem from a lack of trust in providers, but a lack of trust and bad personal experiences with my country’s justice system. Being unimportant doesn’t protect me from being caught in a net. And it doesn’t stop an overzealous prosecutor and judge from throwing the book at me for the sake of boosting numbers to show that they’re “hard on crime” and cracking down on sex trafficking, which to them includes consenting escorts. Yay, bible belt.

        I was unaware that meeting in a neutral location was unsafe, there must be a reason I haven’t thought of. By neutral I meant a public busy spot such as a starbucks or the sort rather than at someone’s house sort of like how people do things on hookup apps. Maybe it’s just not worth it for a provider. That’s fine, it’s why I asked. You’ll have a better of an idea of what’s stupid and what’s not when it comes to this subject. Anyways, paranoid or not, I wasn’t planning on letting it stop me from trying to enjoy life. I’ve gotta give my poor left hand a break at some point don’t I? :p

        1. xostefania

          You should be doing your research BEFORE contacting a provider. This means thoroughly checking her out to figure out if she’s legitimate or not and deciding if you feel safe enough or not. Our job is not to convince you we are safe, that is yours.

          Honeypot sting operations are not done with screening. You really underestimate how long and tedious screening is. Creating elaborate websites, taking professional pictures, and maintaining active social medias takes soooooo much time and effort. I speak on this in the very first section of this guide – the logic of not screening goes for cops too. Cops want to catch as many people in the least amount of time. The methods of cops, pimps, traffickers and scammers are all the same – all they want to do is get you through the door as quick as possible, they’ll be the ones that aren’t screening. Consider the bulk majority of clients in this business refuse to screen, why would any of these predatory people set such inconvenient barriers that would limit their access to people to arrest/scam/harm? A cop doesn’t need you to send your personal information before arresting you, it’s not like they can’t get it after arresting you.

          For the USA, it is the same when speaking of anything explicit before meeting someone – you should never see a provider that discusses these things openly, as any reputable provider who doesn’t want to be arrested will automatically turn down your request if you mention anything explicit. I’m not American, but I have met many American clients and escorts alike, and nearly all of my reputable, safe and high-quality American clients feel safest with providers who screen as strict as possible. Screening should be a green flag, never a red one, especially in a country it is illegal as the USA.

          Public meetings are dumb because they do nothing to protect the escort. How do we know you’re not blacklisted, a dangerous client, or hey, even a cop trying to trick us into meeting you in person for some nefarious reason? It’s extremely unsafe to take your word you’re not any of those things and risk meeting you as an anonymous person in public, a risk that carries much heavier chance and consequence for the escort, all because you’re a tiny bit scared of what is a miniscule risk for you. No sir, no thanks. Not forgetting how much of a major waste of time it is and that most people who try these “alternative screening” don’t want to pay for the time.
          Once again: Follow the rules, or don’t play. Many girls are going to get pissed off if you offer alternative methods to screening they don’t offer, so just don’t do it, don’t even try. You often only get one chance to make a first impression, don’t blow it.

          1. I see, thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy post and for taking the time to respond. I’ll admit that running into cops is a much worse situation for me than for many clients for personal reasons that I won’t go into (no, I’m not wanted or on the run) so I wasn’t really exaggerating when I said I’d rather run into a serial killer. It’s more than a small fear as may be typically expected and for me would quickly become life and death. That being said, you are right, the chances shouldn’t be particularly high and I suppose I should probably be more concerned about driving to work every day.

            I feel a bit better about things. Hopefully this will be helpful to other prospective first time clients as well. Please note that the public meeting was meant to be in addition to and after the original screening, but I guess it doesn’t make any difference for the client anyways so long as you don’t bring up anything sexual prior to meeting, and wouldn’t be worth it for a provider when there are so many other fish in the sea and no value is added regardless. Again thanks for taking the time to respond, this was informative. Best of luck and hope you stay safe out there!

          2. xostefania

            You realize this so-called “life or death” situation you fear so much is astronomical in chance, right? While our risk of running into a literal killer and our lives ending is very real and much more likely to be a reality. If you can’t tolerate ANY risk, may I suggest you don’t try to see hookers??? You know getting your dick wet isn’t a necessity for survival, right??? Remember this, and don’t go around trying to inconvenience or annoy my colleagues to babysit your tiny unreasonable fear because of your selfishness. Quite frankly, learn to read the instructions each lady sets out for a reason, FOLLOW THEM, and stop making our jobs harder than they already are.

  20. If I message someone on LeoList and they dont ask me to do any screening, they just say where to show up, I should take that as a red flag right and not go?
    I know the level/details for a screen varies, but what is the generic screening process to expect? How is it initiated per say.

    1. xostefania

      Please go back and read the first section of this guide. If you wish to avoid risking running into pimps, fake providers, violence, scamming and/or cops, avoid all who do not screen. No questions asked “come here ASAP” messages? Red flag – RUN.

      Get better at choosing your providers. Read my guide again and again and again.

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