Interested in knowing why escorts screen and the methods we use? This page is for you.
Last Updated: March 7th, 2020
I was invited to do an interview on Safety & Screening on the podcast The Escort: Deconstructed. If you’d like to know more about the importance of screening in this industry, I invite you to take a listen: Screening & Safety with Stefania
Why do escorts screen?
Okay, real talk, no bullshit response. Screening is a safety protocol, plain and simple. As I mention in my Newbie’s Guide post, this industry attracts a lot of bad apples. Knowing who you are means I have the power to hold you responsible if you harm me in any way. Most bad people don’t want to be caught and tend to quickly dissapear when their anonymity is shed. Screening serves as an excellent filter for most nefarious people.
But I promise I’m a nice guy and won’t hurt you! Why won’t you believe me?
How can I ever confirm that to be true? A real bad guy can just as easily say the same. Listen, I’m not saying you’re necessarily a rapist or abuser because you refuse to screen, but I’d be playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette if I started blindly trusting people. The possible consequences will never be worth it. Instead of getting mad at providers, get mad at the assholes out there who make screening a necessity.
What are you even worried about?
Take a look at this thread on my Twitter page and the replies from many different workers all over the world. When you ask us to not screen or for exceptions to be made for you, you are asking us to risk meeting someone who can really hurt us. It is an unfortunate reality we are the low-hanging fruit of serial killers, rapists, and all kinds of dangerous people looking to commit violence against women. In time, I have learned these dangerous people use the power of anonymity to thrive, as anonymity gives us zero recourse to hold them responsible if they hurt us. The bad guys are very well aware of this. Threaten to take their anonymity away, and these guys run in the other direction.
If we didn’t screen you, how can we really know if you’re really James the tech guy and not a guy with the intentions to beat us, rape us and/or rob us? Verifying you allows us to make sure you are a safe client to see while also putting us at ease with you. And believe me, if you want us to provide you with the best experience possible, our peace of mind is incredibly important! Please help us to feel safe with you by screening.
If you are still hesitant to screen, let me ask you: If it was your daughter, mother, or sister working, would you want them to meet unknown men in a risky setting without knowing who they are? If you’re of sane-mind, you will automatically say “No” to this. Give us the same regard you would any woman you love and the level of precautions you’d expect them to take for their own safety. We are human beings too and deserve to be safe from harm.
I am worried about my privacy / potential blackmail.
I’m not saying this isn’t a valid concern, but this risk can be mitigated. The most important thing to do is be responsible and take all possible measures to ensure you are seeing a reputable provider. Just as we escorts screen our clients to be safe, it is your responsibility as a client to make sure you also screen your escorts (see: Newbie’s Guide to Booking an Escort). Not all providers are the same, and it is unwise to paint us all the same because there are a few bad ones running around. The best protection is prevention. Most reputable providers run a legitimate business and acting in any kind of shady way will damage our credibility. You’re more likely to get screwed over by a provider who puts little effort into their brand as they’re more likely to not care about the quality of their business, which means they have less to lose if they went out to harm you. Reputable, independent providers like myself can not survive without client/provider confidentiality.
I know this sounds a bit backwards, but the safest you can be as a client is with a provider who is unforgiving and strict with their screening. Why is this? A provider’s level of screening speaks of their sense of professionalism and personal responsibility. Screening is correlated with higher safety, but it comes with a reduction in clientele volume as most clients in this business plain out refuse to screen. If a provider wants to prioritize their safety, they need to come to terms with this possible reduction in income, which requires them to make a lot of sacrifices and accept they will probably not be the busiest person in town.
A smart provider will anticipate the slow times when they receive twenty enquiries in a row with none willing to screen and set appropriate guards in place to avoid falling into the temptation of lowering their screening standards during these vulnerable moments. This requires financial maturity and a high sense of personal responsibility which correlates to a person that has their shit together.
Someone who has their shit together is most likely mature enough to understand the consequences to their actions and to think before they act. They understand better than anyone that blackmailing and extorting one client is just not worth it. This can destroy all their credibility and their entire income revenue, and someone who has put so many guards in place to protect their safety and business would be completely out of character to throw their entire business in the trash like that.
It is very important to be realistic and remember that if you’ve been discerning in selecting a responsible and reputable provider to see, the chance of something like this happening is as close to zero as possible. Just as us providers can never guarantee our full safety even with the strictest of screening, the same can be said for you and your personal information. There exists no absolutes or certainties in this business unless you choose to not play at all, and the best any of us can do is reduce our risks to the best of our abilities.
Can I text you from a burner/text app number?
Only, and ONLY, after I have verified your real phone number.
I am self-employed / I don’t have a LinkedIn account.
No problem-o. I can accommodate. Shoot me a message for more options in regards to employment verification.
Do you accept provider references in lieu of screening information?
Absolutely not. I must be able to verify your identity, and references do not do this.
But other providers are comfortable with just my references / board ID / phone number! Why not you?
Because I am my own person with my own rules and unique comfort levels.
Do you accept alternative screening methods to the ones you have listed?
Why do you need my employment credentials?
If you email me as “Bob Smith” from “firstname.lastname@example.org”, it is impossible for me to verify that the name is legitimate (ignoring the fact an email username like that is extremely crude and tasteless). However, if your name is John Smith and you work for Your Company, you’re likely to have a professional email that is something like email@example.com. If I receive an email from firstname.lastname@example.org, I can be pretty sure that John Smith DOES own that account and is a real person.
If I give you that information, will you contact my work email/phone number through your escort identity?
If I need to confirm your work credentials, I have a few burner email accounts I will ask you to contact instead of my escort one. The content of the message is irrelevant, you can even send an empty email, all I need to do is confirm you’re the owner of that account.
Will you share my information with anyone else?
Everything you send me is confidential. Filling out my booking form sends the information only to my encrypted ProtonMail email and yours, and does not store your information on any kind of database online. The only time I will break confidentiality is if you commit a criminal act against me or you give me permission to do so (for example, when asking me to provide a reference to another provider).
Can I show you my ID in person? I’m not comfortable sharing it online.
I don’t want there to be an online trace of my identity!
Storing your information is not of importance to me, I just want to verify who you are. If you request it, after I have verified you and we have met once, I will happily wipe all online trace of you from my devices.
Why haven’t you replied to my message?
I receive a lot of messages and meet with less than 5% of people who contact me. Chances are, I didn’t think we were compatible for one reason or another. Sorry.
I sent you all the information you asked for, why did you refuse to meet me?
Truth be told, 90% of my screening is done through gut intuition. You can send me the most flawless introductory message with everything I ask for, but if something about you even slightly sets my internal alarms off, I will never go against it.
I’m sorry, I just cannot tell you my name.
I’m sorry, I just cannot meet you.
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